Nintendo switch thread for mental patients

[Candy Arse]

Bu-bu-bu Time Magazine!!!!

[t0mby]

"X-com 2 is rated 11% higher than the watered down Nintendo version" Jasper - Hairy Arse Monthly

[flipswitch]

From GAF:

Miiverse, Wii U Chat and Tvii to shut down on November 8.



Wow, wasn't expecting it this early.

[Hercy]

"5 stars" says notable gaming site Trusted Reviews.

[Candy Arse]

I've always loved jeuxvideo.com's reviews! Same with Nintendo Insider, they're my go-to for objective coverage of Nintendo games!

I can't wait to see what Trusted Reviews, jeuxvideos.com and Nintendo Insider have to say about why Mario vs Rabbids is the XCOM killer with less strategy, less consequence, less complexity and less play-time!

[Candy Arse]

All told, there are at least 20 hours of content here – and that’s if you’re not new to this genre. That’s good because I can’t see a lot of replay value in going back to do it again other than to try the same scenarios with less appropriate teams. The only random factors here are whether or not you hit the coin-flip shots at enemies in low cover. To be fair, that can absolutely make the difference between a win and a loss, but since Mario + Rabbids gives you no choice but to reload when you lose, it doesn’t have quite the same drama as in a game with permanent death.

Oh wow! XCOM obliterated! XCOM sucks because there's value in multiple play-throughs and experimenting with your approach. XCOM-for-kiddies is WAY better because it's a one-play-through-only trial and error game!

Amazing! Can't wait to get this revolutionary game that has turned the genre upside down by taking away what made it special in the first place!

[Jasper]

Hercy - you're the fucking clown who tried to make it seem as if XCOM 2 was an incredible masterpiece with a bunch of perfect 10/10 scores, when not a single perfect score for XCOM 2 has come from a reputable gaming site but instead the likes of Level Czech Republic Magazine & IBTimes UK.

At least Zelda: BOTW boasts perfect 10/10 scores from the likes of EDGE, Gamespot, Giant Bomb, Polygon, etc.

It's clear that you and Candy Arse as so fucking threatened by Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle - considering it's managed to score comparable reviews (if not even better reviews) to XCOM & XCOM 2. The Metacritic scores for all three games are basically around the same.

In fact Candy Arse was boasting about playing Total War games... and the idiot doesn't even realise that Mario & Rabbids Kingdom Battle has a better Metacritic score than MOST of the Total War franchise games!!!







You two bitter bitches need to stop hating on Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle - and run on down to EB Games to pick up a collector's edition bundle for yourselves!

[Candy Arse]

Threatened by an inferior more expensive kids version of XCOM...how does that work?

[t0mby]

This would be shovelware on any other platform. Good job it's a Nintendo exclusive cos it would be struggling to sell on other platforms.

[Hercy]

Just bought Mario Rabbids. Give me a week or two, and then I'll give my

[Hercy]

First impressions: can't skip the intro movie, which feels like it's been going for 10 minutes.

[Yoshi Sonic]

I don't think I'll be buying this one for the kids.

[Jasper]

A new batch of Mario & Rabbids Kingdom Battle reviews...

Pocket Gamer - 9/10

Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle is a gorgeous, amusing, and challenging turn-based strategy that's easily the best exclusive on Nintendo Switch so far. I'm just as surprised as you are.

Trusted Reviews - 4/5

Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle is yet another great Nintendo Switch exclusive, and one of the most original Mario titles we’ve seen in a long time. Just be prepared for the sharp difficulty spikes, and don’t expect the game to go easy on you.

Games Radar - 4/5

Mario + Rabbids gives you the action and strategy of XCOM in a way that does justice both to Mario and to the Rabbid’s kooky style. Ubi’s big E3 surprise is an unmissable Switch game.

Easy Allies - 4.5/5

Mario + Rabbids is a great game that has a lot of unique elements you simply can’t find in other strategy RPGs. Ubisoft puts all concerns to rest with an amazing effort that hopefully paves the way for more collaborations with Nintendo.

[Candy Arse]

Metacritic...

Mario XCOM for kids - 85
XCOM 2 - 88
XCOM: Enemy Unknown - 90
Total War: Warhammer - 86
Total War: Shogun 2 - 90
Rome: Total War - 92
Empire: Total War - 90

Yep, think I'll definitely stick with the cheaper, superior adult strategy games

[Jasper]

You forgot a whole bunch of your precious Total War games with lower metacritic scores than Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle. Here's a small sample...

[Candy Arse]

You're way out of your league in this discussion, Theon Greyjoy. I've literally put thousands of hours into the XCOM and Total War series' and I know you haven't played one second of any of them.

Napoleon - a stand-alone expansion to Empire aka more of the same
Rome 2 - much like ARMS, the game was launched in an unfinished state and got hammered as a result and deservedly so. The state of the game now as Emperor Edition, if it were released that way, would have received a tremendous reception
Atilla - a stand-alone expansion to Rome 2; see above
Shogun: Total War - the very first game in the series and a vastly simple game compared to modern Total War games...yet markedly more complex than Mario XCOM For Kids, it would seem

The best games in the Total War series are in a different league compared to Mario XCOM For Kids. Then you've got the XCOM games themselves which are far more intense, far more consequential, require far more thought, reward repeated play-through attempts and are much cheaper to buy.

Then you have the ability to mod the hell out of both series - the Radious mods for Total War completely overhaul the experience while more than doubling the unit count and re-balancing various economical issues to ensure future play-throughs are more unpredictable in terms of various CPU factions rising to great power.

XCOM has the Long War mod which takes what was already a hardcore, beloved series of games and turns them into a long, brutal war of attrition.

Are there any mods for Mario XCOM For Kids that give you more than 20 hours of gameplay? Perhaps a mod that actually makes the player pay for dumb decisions with character permadeath? Or a mod that introduces the complex strategy and tactics from adult XCOM games as opposed to dumbing it down for the Nintendo pedobear crowd?

Please leave the discussion of this genre to the adults.

[Candy Arse]

Actually since Jasper has decided to make this the official strategy game discussion thread of GR, I see that the new XCOM 2 expansion War of the Chosen is also getting higher review scores than Mario XCOM For Kids

War of the Chosen contains so much new content that it could almost have been called XCOM 3. Every mission dishes out a new enemy, mission type, or environment, which allows the game to remain fresh for several dozen hours. War of the Chosen’s wealth of interwoven systems might overwhelm newcomers, but strategy nerds willing to master the nuances will be treated to one of the most rewarding strategy games in years. I don’t know how Firaxis could make a more complex yet gratifying strategy game, but I can’t wait to see them try.

hmmmmm....do I get a game that adds so much new content it could be XCOM 3 without compromising the appeal to real gamers...or do I instead buy the dumbed down kiddy version on Switch?

While we're talking about strategy games, has anyone else pre-ordered Total Warhammer 2?

[Jasper]

Has anyone else pre-ordered Total Warhammer 2?

Take it from a strategy game connoisseur like me, I absolutely wouldn't even bother with Total War: Warhammer 2.

After all Total War: Warhammer's expansion packs aren't even as good as Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle...

[Candy Arse]

Wow so Mario XCOM For Kids, a full release, is barely better than additional race packs for a Total War game?

Ouch

Mario XCOM For Kids - $600 RRP with the purchase of a Switch: Metacritic 85
Total War Warhammer - Norsca Race Pack - free unit update for the base game $0 RRP: Metacritic 78

Jasper

[Jasper]

Babes, there's literally a ONE POINT DIFFERENCE between Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle & Total War: Warhammer.

They're a bit like two peas in a pod...practically identical in quality according to metacritic!!!

[Candy Arse]

So what you're saying is Total Warhammer is better than Mario XCOM For Kids?

No arguments here

[Candy Arse]

Hey I just noticed - 77 reviews for Total Warhammer and Mario XCOM For Kids is only 85 based on 33 reviews

Wow what a flop. At 77 reviews it'll average probably around 75 or so? Another flop pimped by Jasper

ARMS - waggle fighting game
USF2 - A re-release of an 8-year old remake no one liked, but it has an exclusive...waggle mode
Mario XCOM For Kids - An XCOM game dumbed down for the Nintendo kiddies and kiddy-fiddlers

Wow you're on a roll Jasper...but hey at least it's a better game than the free Total War unit pack, right?

[Jasper]

That was an old screenshot from yesterday. Here's a brand new one for you!

[Candy Arse]

Great so it's still worse than -

XCOM 2 - 88
XCOM: Enemy Unknown - 90
Total War: Warhammer - 86
Total War: Shogun 2 - 90
Rome: Total War - 92
Empire: Total War - 90

But still better than -

Total War: Warhammer free unit pack

Good to know!

[Ambrose Burnside]

I've preordered Total War 2

I'm surprised Jasper is still relying on Metacritic after the Splatoon 2 embarrassment