Nintendo switch thread for mental patients

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Jasper
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Jasper »

The only reason that one review "got around", was because the reviewer was a click-bait attention whore - who knew that whilst everyone else was giving the game a perfect score, his lonesome review giving it an average score would get massive attention. :roll:

Not just that, but he hates Nintendo with a passion and has been trashing them for ages. His hatred for Nintendo had intensified before his BOTW review, because Nintendo had been flagging his videos on YouTube for copyright infringement. :P
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Hercy »

Jasper wrote:Let's be honest, your posting history here at Games Ranch shows you don't even like Nintendo. Whenever you have something to say about Nintendo, it's negative. :roll:
Yeah, I should have stuck with my instincts.

Instead, I thought that this amount of hype (including by notoriously cynical and unbiased Candy Arse) couldn't be wrong, and that Zelda must be truly something special, and so I spent $600 on a Switch.

Oh well, 'fool me once' and all that.

I hope Mario doesn't turn out to be the same deal.
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Lepo5 »

So erh....has anyone got an answer to my question regarding partying up and then going online in Mario Kart?..........anyone, anyone at all, just speak up. You know that best racer in 16 years game, yeah that one. The one where you can't get into an online game with your friends outside of a private lobby.
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by PhoneMonkey »

Jasper wrote:The only reason that one review "got around", was because the reviewer was a click-bait attention whore - who knew that whilst everyone else was giving the game a perfect score, his lonesome review giving it an average score would get massive attention. :roll:

Not just that, but he hates Nintendo with a passion and has been trashing them for ages. His hatred for Nintendo had intensified before his BOTW review, because Nintendo had been flagging his videos on YouTube for copyright infringement. :P
All of Jim's criticisms of Nintendo are valid, that is why it got around. I experienced all of his grievances for myself during my play through and his review is nothing less than a faithful representation of what any gamer can expect, regardless if you pay $60 or $600 to experience Nintendo's sparse open world Magnum Opus.

Here it is: http://www.thejimquisition.com/the-lege ... ld-review/
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Lepo5 »

Seriously, just anyone at all.............
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Hercy »

No one gives a shit about Mario Kart while Forza exists, but this was the 4th Google search result for your literal question "how to party up and then go online with randoms in mario kart 8": http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1366003" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; and it answers your question (hint: you can't).
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Candy Arse »

I just assumed the answer to the Mario Kart question would be no, since what Lepo is asking about relates to a "common sense" aspect of online gaming, and that's where Nintendo shits the bed.

Hercy why in the fuck did you buy a Switch????? I can only assume because you don't own a Wii U?

Zelda impresses greatly for the first 20 hours, then you realise it's basically the world's greatest sandbox with heap of mechanics in play but no story, and no real rewards for exploration apart from "Hey I got to see blurry textures in the distance from the top of this mountain it took me 10 minutes to climb!"

Oh wait, I did get that carrot as a reward one time for completing a quest :lol:

The 7/10 review fully justified the score, one of the best reviews I've read in a long time because clearly no money hats were involved.
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Hercy »

Candy Arse wrote:Hercy why in the fuck did you buy a Switch????? I can only assume because you don't own a Wii U?
I hadn't owned a Nintendo console since the 64, and the new Zelda was getting massive praise from all quarters, so I thought now was the time to revisit some of the old franchises that I haven't played for a long time. I got the console in the full knowledge that most likely the only games I would own would be Zelda and the upcoming Mario game, so it was always going to be a poor financial decision. I'm sorely disappointed in Zelda because I had huge hopes for it, and seeing as the same people who think Zelda is the greatest are the people who heap 10's on modern Mario platformers, my expectations of Mario have been hugely diminished.

I thought of getting a Wii U, expecting them to be like $150 now that they're superseded, but they were barely cheaper than the Switch.

My problem with Zelda isn't story, or the weapons that break. I don't really care for stories in games anyway. Give me a Crazy Taxi any day. My main problem with it is that the basic risk/reward structure of gaming is missing from it. There's no incentive to be "good" at the fighting mechanics because healing is instantaneous. Therefore there is no risk. Then, sometimes fighting a bunch of enemies can leave you with a weaker set of weapons than what you started with. So there's no reward. The open world nature of the game means that there's no progression of risk/reward as you make your way through the game. Sometimes you come across an enemy that's way out of your league, so again, no risk because you just have to avoid it. Climbing to high places is an exercise in pre-cooking and eating rather than any type of skill.

As for the grinding collect-a-thon of things: no thanks. I've never enjoyed a grind.

The puzzles in the shrines are generally poor. Oh, so this one's Magnesis because this thing in the middle glows yellow? OK, guess I'll move this thing over to this thing. At least in Tomb Raider the parts of the world are unique enough that you're never quite sure what's relevant. Red herrings are the key to good puzzles, but all that Zelda has are smooth featureless walls around the puzzles.

And then there's the horrible user interface. Why so many clicks to cook? Why so many clicks to swap a weapon I want to pick up with one in my inventory? You want me to delete pictures from my camera one by one? And there's like 5 clicks to do so?

That's my 7/10 review.
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Candy Arse »

Whoa.

Legitimate objective criticism of a Zelda game.

You must hate Nintendo!!!!
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Jasper »

Hercy wrote:I hadn't owned a Nintendo console since the 64, and the new Zelda was getting massive praise from all quarters, so I thought now was the time to revisit some of the old franchises that I haven't played for a long time. I got the console in the full knowledge that most likely the only games I would own would be Zelda and the upcoming Mario game, so it was always going to be a poor financial decision. I'm sorely disappointed in Zelda because I had huge hopes for it, and seeing as the same people who think Zelda is the greatest are the people who heap 10's on modern Mario platformers, my expectations of Mario have been hugely diminished.

I thought of getting a Wii U, expecting them to be like $150 now that they're superseded, but they were barely cheaper than the Switch.

My problem with Zelda isn't story, or the weapons that break. I don't really care for stories in games anyway. Give me a Crazy Taxi any day. My main problem with it is that the basic risk/reward structure of gaming is missing from it. There's no incentive to be "good" at the fighting mechanics because healing is instantaneous. Therefore there is no risk. Then, sometimes fighting a bunch of enemies can leave you with a weaker set of weapons than what you started with. So there's no reward. The open world nature of the game means that there's no progression of risk/reward as you make your way through the game. Sometimes you come across an enemy that's way out of your league, so again, no risk because you just have to avoid it. Climbing to high places is an exercise in pre-cooking and eating rather than any type of skill.

As for the grinding collect-a-thon of things: no thanks. I've never enjoyed a grind.

The puzzles in the shrines are generally poor. Oh, so this one's Magnesis because this thing in the middle glows yellow? OK, guess I'll move this thing over to this thing. At least in Tomb Raider the parts of the world are unique enough that you're never quite sure what's relevant. Red herrings are the key to good puzzles, but all that Zelda has are smooth featureless walls around the puzzles.

And then there's the horrible user interface. Why so many clicks to cook? Why so many clicks to swap a weapon I want to pick up with one in my inventory? You want me to delete pictures from my camera one by one? And there's like 5 clicks to do so?

That's my 7/10 review.
ENOUGH!!! :down:

ImageImage

Your opinion (someone who has historically only ever trashed Nintendo here at Games Ranch) is meaningless. The truth is you want to hate BOTW so you can continue on with your hate-boner for Nintendo. :roll:
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Jasper »

Hercy wrote:No one gives a shit about Mario Kart while Forza exists
WRONG, AGAIN! :redface:

People don't want no fucking Forza! :down:

All three XB1 Forza games (Forza Motorsport 5, Forza Horizon 2, and Forza Motorsport 6) have collectively sold LESS than Mario Kart 8 on Nintendo's greatest flop - the Wii U. :redface:

How humiliating that a trio of next generation XB1 Forza games have been outsold by a karting game. :lol:

As for Mario Kart 8 Deluxe on Switch...well, Nintendo certainly must be happy with it's phenomenal success considering MARIO KART 8 DELUXE IS THE FASTEST SELLING MARIO KART GAME IN HISTORY!!! :up:
Mario Kart 8 Deluxe sets record as fastest-selling game in the franchise

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Mario Kart 8 Deluxe sold nearly half a million copies stateside when it went on sale last Friday, making it the fastest-selling Mario Kart title ever.

Nintendo announced that the game beat out Mario Kart Wii as the series’ fastest seller, with a little more than 459,000 copies sold in the U.S. on launch day alone. (The Switch has moved 2.7 million units worldwide since launch, for context.) Mario Kart Wii, which went on to be the best-selling entry of the Mario Kart series — and second-biggest Mario game ever — moved just under 434,000 copies at launch in 2008.

Nearly half of those with a Switch already have Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, two months after the console’s launch. That’s a remarkable attach rate, even considering The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild on Switch has sold more copies than consoles shipped.


https://www.polygon.com/2017/5/1/155022 ... ndo-switch" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Mavy »

Hercy wrote:.
And then there's the horrible user interface. Why so many clicks to cook? Why so many clicks to swap a weapon I want to pick up with one in my inventory? You want me to delete pictures from my camera one by one? And there's like 5 clicks to do so?

That's my 7/10 review.
Well that's because it's what Nintendo says you wanted.
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Candy Arse »

Jasper wrote:
Hercy wrote:I hadn't owned a Nintendo console since the 64, and the new Zelda was getting massive praise from all quarters, so I thought now was the time to revisit some of the old franchises that I haven't played for a long time. I got the console in the full knowledge that most likely the only games I would own would be Zelda and the upcoming Mario game, so it was always going to be a poor financial decision. I'm sorely disappointed in Zelda because I had huge hopes for it, and seeing as the same people who think Zelda is the greatest are the people who heap 10's on modern Mario platformers, my expectations of Mario have been hugely diminished.

I thought of getting a Wii U, expecting them to be like $150 now that they're superseded, but they were barely cheaper than the Switch.

My problem with Zelda isn't story, or the weapons that break. I don't really care for stories in games anyway. Give me a Crazy Taxi any day. My main problem with it is that the basic risk/reward structure of gaming is missing from it. There's no incentive to be "good" at the fighting mechanics because healing is instantaneous. Therefore there is no risk. Then, sometimes fighting a bunch of enemies can leave you with a weaker set of weapons than what you started with. So there's no reward. The open world nature of the game means that there's no progression of risk/reward as you make your way through the game. Sometimes you come across an enemy that's way out of your league, so again, no risk because you just have to avoid it. Climbing to high places is an exercise in pre-cooking and eating rather than any type of skill.

As for the grinding collect-a-thon of things: no thanks. I've never enjoyed a grind.

The puzzles in the shrines are generally poor. Oh, so this one's Magnesis because this thing in the middle glows yellow? OK, guess I'll move this thing over to this thing. At least in Tomb Raider the parts of the world are unique enough that you're never quite sure what's relevant. Red herrings are the key to good puzzles, but all that Zelda has are smooth featureless walls around the puzzles.

And then there's the horrible user interface. Why so many clicks to cook? Why so many clicks to swap a weapon I want to pick up with one in my inventory? You want me to delete pictures from my camera one by one? And there's like 5 clicks to do so?

That's my 7/10 review.
ENOUGH!!! :down:

ImageImage

Your opinion (someone who has historically only ever trashed Nintendo here at Games Ranch) is meaningless. The truth is you want to hate BOTW so you can continue on with your hate-boner for Nintendo. :roll:
And you ignore the fact he spent $600 as part of this whole saga :lol:

I felt ripped off spending $70 for the identical Wii U version! Horizon is the better game.
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Scullibundo »

I'm not on Jasper's side, but I will say that I will never understand the complaints about weapon damage.

I often have to throw good weapons away to make space for better ones. I honestly think the people complaining about weapon damage and not wanting to get into fights because of it are kind of weaksauce. The reason you get into fights is because the drops are often worth it.

Yes, you may have the rare time where you get rewarded with a carrot or 20 rupees that is in fact a total bullshit waste of time, but more often than not, I always find it worth engaging enemies. And if you're only engaging enemies for the drops, then maybe this game isn't for you. I engage enemies for the fun of the fight. This is like saying Tsavo Highway isn't a fun level in Halo 3 because you drove your warthog straight past the Brute encounter.
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Lepo5 »

MARIO KART 8 DELUXE IS THE FASTEST SELLING MARIO KART GAME IN HISTORY!!! :up:

Yeah but that just might have something to do with there being nothing else worth playing on the system except Zelda.

WEAKEST SOFTWARE LAUNCH IN HISTORY!!!
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by flipswitch »

Lepo5 wrote:MARIO KART 8 DELUXE IS THE FASTEST SELLING MARIO KART GAME IN HISTORY!!! :up:

Yeah but that just might have something to do with there being nothing else worth playing on the system except Zelda.

WEAKEST SOFTWARE LAUNCH IN HISTORY!!!
I thought this was common knowledge. I mean, if I were just a Switch user, I'd be starved for games, and now I've got another Wii U port with a new hat.
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Hercy »

Candy Arse wrote: And you ignore the fact he spent $600 as part of this whole saga :lol:
If you take into account money raised from the sale of obsolete Nintendo hardware, I'd guess that I've spent more of my hard earned on Nintendo products than Jasper this year.
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Candy Arse »

So taking that into consideration, and the fact that you've clearly played more of Zelda BoTW than Jasper...this makes you a bigger Nintendo fan.

Mind: blown
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Jasper »

OK...ARMS is definitely a fucking must have! :up:

The game includes dildos (" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;)... :shock:

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Nintendo haven't given specifics about the in-game dildos, except that it has something to do with this bizarre poof playable character with the dick sucking lips... :wink:

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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Jasper »

Oh, this is great. The Simpsons spoof of Pokemon Go... :)
I love it when I see Nintendo references in The Simpsons... :D

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Last edited by Jasper on 05 May 2017 11:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Cletus »

Man the Simpsons are so lame now. You love lame shit rocco.
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Yoshi Sonic »

I must say - now that I have to change games on a Switch, that changing games on a Switch majorly sucks.

In this day and age we should have the ability to buy a game, insert it once, then play it as many times as one likes without doing that again.

Frigging around with a flap with your fingernail is fucked. I think I prefer discs or full-sized cartridges on a home console if I have to manually change games.

And I worry about losing them.
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Jasper »

WTF? It bothers you to insert and/or pull out a cartridge? :?

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How could you ever want to go back to discs? The Switch (courtesy of it being cartridge based) boots up games faster than XB1/PS4 - plus of course faster loading times during gameplay. :wink:

I never want to go back to discs. I love my adorable compact Switch cartridges and mini-sized game cases... :P

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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Yoshi Sonic »

I don't love it.

On any other home console - press button, disc comes out. Or previously, yank obviously bulky cart out.

With the Switch you have to remove Switch from dock so you can see the flap in the dark and fumble with the unit while fingering the flap and hold the flap back while ejecting the cart.

It's clumsy and inelegant. There has to be a better way than this and yet I see no value in digital downloads either.
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Re: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD DLC DETAILS UNVE

Post by Mavy »

Well Microsoft did try....
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