Fucking birds
- selfish
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Fucking birds
So there's this terrible bird that sounds like an alarm clock and goes off at 5:45 each morning. I'd like to get it to live in a different tree- it seems to be in a gum tree not far from our house.
Any ideas? I'm thinking about getting a Nerf gun and pissing it off every time it makes that fucking noise, but that involves getting out of bed too early. Or any Nerf suggestions for range and power?
Any ideas? I'm thinking about getting a Nerf gun and pissing it off every time it makes that fucking noise, but that involves getting out of bed too early. Or any Nerf suggestions for range and power?
"Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion" - L. Ron Hubbard
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Re: Fucking birds
Oh I thought this was going to be about having sex with our avian companions.
I don't have anything to contribute then
I don't have anything to contribute then
- General Chaos
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Re: Fucking birds
Air Rifle.
- Twit
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Re: Fucking birds
It all depends on what sort of bird it is. Please make a recording of yourself imitating the bird call and post it here for further advice. It might also help with identification if you could dress up like it.
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Re: Fucking birds
I know it's the one cootie-free zone, but you might just have to stop camping out in your tree house.
- t0mby
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Re: Fucking birds
Start work earlier, perhaps at such a time that requires you to wake up at 5:45.
selfish wrote:Being a massive fanboy and trying to hide it is Lestat's worst bottleneck.
- Cletus
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Re: Fucking birds
I have all sorts of surprises for birds that shouldn't be.
- unfnknblvbl
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Re: Fucking birds
there used to be a magpie that would sit on the street sign outside my house at 5ish every morning and warble away. It probably considered its actions to be highly amusing.
The sky calls to us; if we do not destroy ourselves, we will one day venture to the stars
Re: Fucking birds
I was fucking this bird once and...
Re: Fucking birds
We've got this crow that just caws away, but somehow the acoustics of the place around us just amplify it so much, like the thing's in our room. Always so early, so loud, but we can only find it funny. Crows are simply funny, how loud and lonely and silence-shattering they are.
One day I will just stand on the balcony and yell "SHUTUP CROW!", and I know neighbours will be laughing, 'cos the mofo is just that loud.
One day I will just stand on the balcony and yell "SHUTUP CROW!", and I know neighbours will be laughing, 'cos the mofo is just that loud.
Still
- selfish
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Re: Fucking birds
So slingshot, air rifle, Nerf. What's cheapest and most effective?
"Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion" - L. Ron Hubbard
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Re: Fucking birds
Cletus wrote:I have all sorts of surprises for birds that shouldn't be.
Mr guns the bird man he certainly does have some nifty things
Re: Fucking birds
Slingshot would be the cheapest and only marginally less effective than an air rifle. Plus once you deal with the bird you'll have a sweet slingshot.selfish wrote:So slingshot, air rifle, Nerf. What's cheapest and most effective?
Not sure how far away this tree is but a super soaker can work wonders, and you won't accidentally kill or maim anything.
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Re: Fucking birds
Here comes the Fun Police.Gamma wrote:selfish wrote:
Not sure how far away this tree is but a super soaker can work wonders, and you won't accidentally kill or maim anything.
selfish wrote:Being a massive fanboy and trying to hide it is Lestat's worst bottleneck.
Re: Fucking birds
Leave the bird alone and kill the tree.
Candy Arse wrote:
Lepo the Legend gave me his pair for free.
Lepo the Legend gave me his pair for free.
- Cletus
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Re: Fucking birds
An old do it yourself method I've heard of...
If you can catch it, (double sided tape on a board with bird seed in the middle would work and you can do it yourself) gently hold it and push your finger down the bird's throat until the head splits apart. Don't be frightened to go knuckle deep. Problem solved. No poisons needed either.
Three turns of the head either clockwise or anticlockwise will also work.
If you can catch it, (double sided tape on a board with bird seed in the middle would work and you can do it yourself) gently hold it and push your finger down the bird's throat until the head splits apart. Don't be frightened to go knuckle deep. Problem solved. No poisons needed either.
Three turns of the head either clockwise or anticlockwise will also work.
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Re: Fucking birds
My work mate has a minor bird problem which is actually quite major... he has a cat trap thing set up, puts them n a plastic bag and fills it with car exhaust.
Reckons he has killed over 20 but they keep on coming, bit like a runny nose I guess.
Reckons he has killed over 20 but they keep on coming, bit like a runny nose I guess.
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Re: Fucking birds
Carbon monoxide is used for foxes generally. Oh and sometimes divorcees.
- GreyWizzard
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Re: Fucking birds
Hey Jizz, has your friend moved onto larger animals, say cats, dogs... humans?
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Re: Fucking birds
Dunno... too scared to ask
- selfish
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Re: Fucking birds
Tried super-soaker, but the ones I could get wouldn't shoot far enough. Slingshot sounds good, where do you get one from?
"Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion" - L. Ron Hubbard
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