New Aussie TV shows

Hercy · Post by **Hercy** » 23 Jul 2009 07:53 pm

I don't think any of this week's new free-to-air Australian TV shows are good enough to deserve their own thread, so I'm just going to lump them all together here.

Australia's Perfect Couple: Hosted by the insufferable Jules Bland off the back of such overwhelming successes as Hole in the Wall and Big Questions. Do you remeber Big Questions? No you don't, because it lasted about two episodes and if I were forced to make a fecal analogy, it was like a giant turd eaten by Jules Bland himself, surgically extricated from his intestines, sent back to the start, and finally shat out. And the orignal shit was done by Shelley Craft.

So anyway, apparently Australia's perfect couple is a young and good-looking suburbanite although I suppose this is no great surprise in reality TV. At least the winner can be ethnic-looking as long as they have an Aussie twang in their voice.

The first 'challenge' was for the female partners to kiss the cheek of the blindfolded guys, with the guys having to guess which was their partner. I say 'challenge' in quotes because all of the couples passed the task, and any task that these mental lightweights can pass can in no way be described as a 'challenge'. So we had a few minutes of terminally boring TV as we saw every girl walk the line and peck each guy on the cheek, interspersed with Bland's bleached tips. Only, there's a complication, because one of the couples is a pair of gay guys. Because the other guys aren't poofters or somefink, they brought in a bunch of other guys to do the kissing. Except that apparently Australian TV audiences would heave their collective dinners all over the coffee table if they saw a guy peck another guy on the cheek, because as soon as they approached the blindfolded contestant, they cut to ads. And when we came back, it was time to start guessing who the kissers were. Although I suppose after a hundred lesbian kisses this year alone on Home & Away and Neighbours and no gay guys, this is also no great surprise.

The second and mercifully last challenge was one of those thread-a-wire-loop-on-a-wand-over-a-twisty-metal-wire things, because apparently Australia's perfect couple would have good hand-eye co-ordination and a steady hand. The problem with this task was that each time the loop touched the wire, not only did the guy get an electric shock, but there was a 10 second time penalty. What's the point of having two penalties for the same thing? The far superior task would have been if there was no time penalty, so that the girls had to choose between speed and hurting their partner. As it was though, most of the girls were so unco that there were numerous shocks anyway.

In the only vaguely entertaining part of the show, the couple who got voted off went on a huge oh-you-only-voted-for-us-because-we're-so-good-and-such-a-big-threat rant, when the reality of having 5 votes out of 7 against you means that you are so insufferably arrogant and rude that you can't even hide it from a small group of people for two days.

World's Strictest Parents: Before I start on this one, just let me reassure those of you who know that both of these shows were on at the same time, that I was flippantly channel-flipping and in no way recorded one show to savour the full two hours of entertainment.

This show instantly one-ups APC because we're looking for the World's something instead of just Australia's something.

The concept of this show is pointless and lazy. Each week we are introduced to two snot-faced Aussies who are sent overseas to live with an overly religious family with bad haircuts for a couple of weeks (I'm a bit uncertain on the details because of my channel flipping, but I am deathly certain of the bad haircuts). Unlike that show on the ABC where they follow the story of a group of kids at a discipline boot-camp and you watch them go from lazy shitheels to shitheels who wake up at 6am each morning, WSP caters to the attention span of the average Channel Seven viewer who can't cope with a lengthy narrative and just wants two new kids every week.

So last night, a couple of kids snuck a few lazy cigarettes behind a tree, cried a bit about missing their mum, and came to the unsurprising revelation that at least their parents aren't batshit crazy religious fundamentalists. Next week, two more kids will sneak a few lazy cigarettes behind a tree, cry a bit about missing their mum, and come to the unsurprising revelation that at least their parents aren't batshit crazy religious fundamentalists. Can't wait for episode 3, personally.

Oh and there's also something whiffy about Axle Whitehead passing judgement on troubled kids when he once flopped his dick out at an awards ceremony.

Things to look forward to tonight: Double Take (as if Comedy Stinc wasn't axed enough times already), TV Burp (should be good given how I'm a TV junky and all but frankly I have no faith in Ed Kavalee when he's not sticking his dick in a meat slicer), and True Beauty (not Australian but fuck you this is my thread, and I can watch Q&A on ABC iView later on anyway).

Roll on Aussie Beauty & the Geek to save us.

Twiztid Elf · Post by **Twiztid Elf** » 23 Jul 2009 08:00 pm

I was mildly interested in the Perfect Couple one, so I watched as much as I could bear (about 5 minutes) last night. Fucking horrendous.

That 7pm Project or whatever it's called with Hughesy seems ok. I think I've seen about 10 minutes tops of that only though.

Double Take and TV Burp both look ok - I'll give them a chance.

True Beauty is the winner so far. I watched it last week and it got a few laughs out of me.

Shaneus · Post by **Shaneus** » 23 Jul 2009 08:40 pm

Double Take - watch it now, Hercy! Want your opinion on it, for sure. Sketch comedy at its worst.

Hercy · Post by **Hercy** » 23 Jul 2009 09:34 pm

The worst thing about Double Take is that it doesn't even live up to its own name. The promos billed it as an Australian version of the UK series Dead Ringers, and the name backs that up, but only about 10% of the show is parody. The rest was sketches that I can only assume that they had left over when Comedy Stinc was axed for the fifth time.

And I completely forgot about the 7pm Project. I've quite liked Charlie since his Triple J days and he's good in this, but Dave Hughes desperately needs some new material, and Carrie Bickmore wouldn't even describe herself as a comedian so what's she doing here? If this show is The Panel lite, she's Kate Langbroek. Also they try to cover way too much material in each show. They had an interview with the astronomer who spotted the recent impact on Jupiter, and literally asked him two questions in less than a minute before thanking him for his time. Still, it's only in it's first week. I don't think it will ever be great, but as something easy to tune into a couple of times a week it seems to fill in time nicely.

Shaneus · Post by **Shaneus** » 23 Jul 2009 09:43 pm

Ohhh.... so *that's* what the title is referring to. I just saw some sketch about a surgeon who hid an engagement ring in a patients body, and a horrible parody of Valkyrie.

The Late Shift on channel 9 was better than this... and that was horrible.

Ambrose Burnside · Post by **Ambrose Burnside** » 23 Jul 2009 11:18 pm

I liked the Krudd song.

GreyWizzard · Post by **GreyWizzard** » 24 Jul 2009 12:11 am

I think 1 episode of 7pm is enough. I didn't hate it, but there was nothing really there to keep me interested. If it is on, I would probably watch it... but if for some reason I got up and then someone started to talk to me, I wouldn't feel annoyed that I was missing the show.

Talez · Post by **Talez** » 24 Jul 2009 10:04 am

Oh so it's supposed to be a parody show? Holy fucking shit.

They need to do a Daily Show ripoff with someone who's not just funny but also eloquent like Jon Stewart. Aussie comedians have the whole yobbo humour down but it's just not that funny when you start getting to the point where your IQ starts dwarfing your shoe size.

Have any of you ever sat down and actually watched question time? It's a vast deposit of gold waiting to be mined by the right person! Not to mention the dumbass things pollies say all the time as media soundbites. Maybe SBS could do it.

pilonv1 · Post by **pilonv1** » 24 Jul 2009 10:19 am

SBS sort of did it with Newstopia. That's the closest you'll get in Australia.

Shaneus · Post by **Shaneus** » 24 Jul 2009 06:58 pm

Tony Martin.

Mavy · Post by **Mavy** » 24 Jul 2009 07:45 pm

I like the 7pm project and would be disappointed if it got axed but I actually think some of the rehearsal clips they showed during masterchef flowed better than what some of the actual live show does.

I think they should give Charlie the flick as he seems to be the most uncomfortable and unfunny of the lot. Like a poor man's Will Anderson. Speaking of which. Get Will Anderson!

High points seem to be their correspondents, particularly because they tend to be funnier than the main hosts. Ruby Rose is good and I can't say how happy I am that Ryan Shelton is no where in sight.

I like it though much better than watching Home & Awaning & Two and a half boring morons.

Dan Syndrome · Post by **Dan Syndrome** » 25 Jul 2009 09:04 am

TV Burp wasn't bad, if a little patchy. I'll give it a couple more weeks.

GreyWizzard · Post by **GreyWizzard** » 25 Jul 2009 09:54 am

What is TV Burp?

Shaneus · Post by **Shaneus** » 25 Jul 2009 10:17 am

It's what you get when you eat too many TV dinners

pilonv1 · Post by **pilonv1** » 25 Jul 2009 10:30 am

ive heard TV Burp is a poor knockoff of the soup

stanard · Post by **stanard** » 25 Jul 2009 10:30 am

pilonv1 wrote:SBS sort of did it with Newstopia. That's the closest you'll get in Australia.

Speaking of which - when the hell is this coming to DVD?

Desperately need to see Alien Kitchen again.

F for Fake · Post by **F for Fake** » 25 Jul 2009 12:28 pm

pilonv1 wrote:ive heard TV Burp is a poor knockoff of the soup

Poor is too good a word.

Twiztid Elf · Post by **Twiztid Elf** » 25 Jul 2009 12:47 pm

Double Take was ok. I quite enjoyed parts. Some skits fell flat. KRudd remake of Lily Allen Fear was definitely the highlight.

TV Burp was really ordinary.

Hercy · Post by **Hercy** » 25 Jul 2009 01:03 pm

pilonv1 wrote:ive heard TV Burp is a poor knockoff of the soup

Well the UK version of TV Burp was around a couple of years before The Soup. The Australian version is a total copy down to the sideways glances at another camera. See this for example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4mGqhxMKiY" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I thought the show was all right though. It's kind of weird to see Kavalee doing a high-energy hosting style high on the cheese factor, when the impression that came from his Get This days was him as a lazy slacker who rolled out of bed 5 minutes before the show and ate breakfast during the first segment. It comes across as really ingenuine. Hopefully he finds his own style as the show continues.

westical · Post by **westical** » 25 Jul 2009 01:08 pm

All this matters little when the king, Hey Hey, returns.

GreyWizzard · Post by **GreyWizzard** » 25 Jul 2009 01:20 pm

well BAM! there it is.

BruceCamblzChin · Post by **BruceCamblzChin** » 25 Jul 2009 01:22 pm

Why do Australia even bother? Everything we make is shithouse and pales in comparison to the excellent TV shows which are made by HBO, Sci Fi channel, BBC and the like. Now that we buy this stuff, have it on DVD or download or woteva a locallly made show honestly looks like amateur hour most of the time.

As for Oz filmaking, fucken is it possible to explore some themes other than "exploring how fucked up family life in Australia can be" or "horrible things were done to aborigines weren't they"? Like where is a kick arse Oz horror flick, or sci fi flick? You know films that people actually want to see not be forced to watch in their year 12 English class.

GOD!! It makes me want to ngaaaaah!!!

rant ends.

GreyWizzard · Post by **GreyWizzard** » 25 Jul 2009 02:07 pm

Aussie Horror

Aussie Sci Fi

Twiztid Elf · Post by **Twiztid Elf** » 25 Jul 2009 03:09 pm

Dark City was an awesome Aussie Sci-Fi.

ObSoLeTe · Post by **ObSoLeTe** » 25 Jul 2009 03:24 pm

i have'nt really got into any aussie shows since the 90s shows like fast forward, full frontal, hey hey its saturday and even hey dad, instead where stuck with people like rove , id rather put up with a unfunny darryl summers then watch an unfunny rove